Another post

Great times

So i'm going to blog about what has happened last weekend. So here you go.

Hope

Hmm it took me for like 10 minutes to figure it out what to blog about this time. I'm just gonna say anything randomly that pop out of my head.

It's kindda sad and frustrating knowing that your own family doesn't trust you anymore. Doesn't mean I lost the camera once, i'm gonna do it again. My sister bought this one camera and she mentioned that she will never ever let me borrow her camera because she doesn't trust me anymore. My family is just not supportive and they just pushing me away. It just broke my heart.

Sometimes I just feel like I don't have any friends anymore. I still have my bestfriends and I can just talk to them but then at the same time, I feel like I don't wanna burden them with my problems and stuff but at the end of the day, I'm the one that feels lonely.

And him, he didn't even call me for like 2 days? Yeah happened few times before.

I just hope that my life would come back to normal. I miss my old life.

I WILL NEVER GET WHAT I WANT! I will never get what other people is having. Butttt, I have to learn to accept and appreciate what I have right now. As much as I hate to say that but yeah. Be grateful Dila. Whatever comes just be patience. Things happen for reasons.

ANYWAYS! It's already 2.41 in the morning? And I'm still awake.

And look I changed my profile pic for my blog!! >>>>>>>>>>>>>

Yea look like a retard haha. Sad, i've been abandoning my blog for like quite some time. Imma blog more often from now on onwards. In case you haven't noticed I changed my blog background as well :) And the font, the colour, EVERYTHING!! haha.

P/S I'm sorry for being so emo lately. I can't help it.

I'm out of here. Tomorrow will be a better day, hope so. Till then <3

Disappointing

I went to school today and I've got all my exam paper one shot. Was expecting to have a good day but I went totally crazy after I get my marks. Really disappointing. I know should blame it on myself though as I did not work hard for final exam. Very speechless. Very.

Of all the subject, I failed the most important subject which I should not fail in order to stay in the same class next year. Well, I really do want to stay in the same class next year. I failed 2 main subjects. Very bad. I don't even know how to tell my parents if they ask. I will never ever tell them my marks unless they ask. Even if they would, I will just say I still haven't get my exam papers yet. Sounds good aite.

What can I do, past is just past. Next year will be my last year aka SPM year. Sounds damn scary. I don't wanna go to form 5 like hell-to-the-NO. I am going to suffer I tell you. I have to study hard (the same thing I've been saying for the past 2 years) haha.

I only have these 2 months to enjoy. As if. I wish I could. Might be busy preparing my sister's wedding. I don't want to think too much about next year, I can go insane. Really. By the time, let's enjoy these few weeks to the max. This holiday might be the last time I can go out and spend quality times with my buddies. Sad. But I am still going to join cheerleading though.

Tomorrow will be the last day of school. How cool is that. Shall take pictures to keep as memories. And going to miss Form 4 very much. My awesome classmates that will never be forgotten, my beloved teachers for teaching us throughout the year (still got next year haha).

Well, I should probably head to bed by now. Till then, goodnight loves.

The hardest decisions.

When I care about someone, I really do care. When I love someone, I truly do. But at the end of the day, you have to let go of someone right for some reasons. In this case, I've been such a bad girl and only god knows what I've been through throughout the year.

I've never had a long-term relationship before. Now I'm having it and it is very very hard to let it go. I don't want to waste what we had ever since we've met. It's been a long journey between us. We have been through thick and thin. However, I gotta move on one day and it will not be an easy thing to do. People learn and move on. Hopefully I can manage to do that. I try to be strong and patient but it takes forever.

People get hurt learn all the time. We learn from that. Like Kim Kardashian, she filed a divorce 72 days after her marriage. The wedding that she had just wasted. Anything can happen to anyone. We just never know. My friend was right, 'we can't always follow our heart. we have to think wise too. that's why God gives us brain'

I trust no one. I can't listen what other people say. But I can't avoid from the truth either. Somehow I have to do it and deal with it no matter how tough it is.

#When I was hugging him today, my tears started dropping. But I never said why. I just don't know how to say. I couldn't

Lazy

I know when it comes to study, everyone would be lazy aite. That's just life. Haha. Yes i have to since my final is coming. Enough with all the pressure and now my sister adding it up more *sigh* She's asking me to replace the camera that I lost it. WHERE IN THE WORLD AM I GONNA GET THE MONEY?! Isshh I got no money ya know, what the fish. She can be so fcuking annoying at times.

So many things will be happening next year. And my MOM keep on reminding me about me have to study hard next year and cannot participate in anything. I do not want to be a book worm mommy. Seriously. I am gonna be more active next year as it is my last/senior year. Yes am still going to join cheerleading. Hope I can commit though. How sad I have to do it without their knowledge. Kindda mean. haha. But I would do whatever it takes to stick with my team.

Thinking of joining dance class actually. But I cannot afford it with using my own moneyyhhh. Darn. I'm really out of money. And should start earning money now. I might be working this november with my friend though. Hopefully. I have so many things going on my mind.

I got no time to blog every single day, so i will just blog once a week at least? Just maybe. And anyways, in case u haven't noticed I changed my background. Haha. It looks prediculous i know. But it has been ages since the last time I edit my blog.

For your information, I am soon going to get a brother-in-law :) yes, my sis is getting married and still searching some stuff and preparation as well. can't wait.

Back!

Ohmaiigooodddddd it has been awhile right I haven't blogging? I can't even remember when was the last time I blogged :O

Anyway, cut the crap. Yaa know whatttt i totally dislike my life right now, ya know why? First, I LOST MY CAMERA. Second of all, MY PHONE IS DAMAGED. Third, my FINAL EXAM IS JUST AROUND THE CORNER. Lastly, one of my favourite bag has just BROKEN OFF. Hahaha. Awesome right? Yeeshhh.

Dad scolds me everyday I can't even stand it anymore. Ergh miserable k. And I try to study everyday but I am not sure if i can remember any of them on the exam day itself. But it's okay. Just keep being positive dila. Wohhh. Ahahhaha I sound little bit like a crazy person aite. Bullshit.

This week I'll be busy with my study groups and stuff. So-called 'study group' haha. We talked most of the time instead ahaha. What to do we just can't help it :) So many things to plan for holidays and so many things we want to do together. Hope we don't end up doing nothing. I would devastated. Will spend some quality time with my girlfriends. Oh yeaahhh :D But however, exam comes first :/ Fuck that. Sorry ignore my language. Been cursing countless of times these days.

Maybe i just need to do some exercise once in awhile. Should relieve some stress or I get all tense up. Haven't really sweat for a long time d. Ever since my cheerleading and volleyball. Miss those times though. Sweet memories :)

There are so many things I wish I could blog right now but I just can't. Will update more soon or later. Till then.

Eid

1 more day left before Raya! Hoorayy. Time flies damn fast right? :p The day that only happen once in a year finally comes. Therefore, for the muslims, we all should enjoy to the max on these wonderful days.

I shopped 3 times for raya this year. Dont even know why maybe i just felt it was just not enough. Even now i feel like shopping again :3 Anyhow, i'm going back to my mom's side in sg buloh first this time. I cant waittttttt. Oh actually I already packed, its just the matter of time. We'll be leaving soon which is, it's already 2.33am in the morning and my whole family still awake and busy preparing.

The best part of Raya is that you get ang pauuu from your aunties and uncles. Awesome right, I know. Hahaha. *Okay sorry for being too hyper, im always like this every year when raya comes* LOL. And I'm really looking forward to see all my cousin and niece soon.

So dear my muslim friends, I would like to wish you all

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri, Maaf Zahir dan Batin.

Forgive all my mistakes that I have done to you guys or if I ever hurt your feelings in any ways. Let's forgive the past and start new! Love, Dila. xoxo

Quotes

If you don't call me all day I understand, when you don't text me all day I understand, when I stop loving you I hope you understand.

I MEAN IT. Sincerely, dila.

Knock me down

I'm not the same person anymore.

Things become too serious and makes me more emotional.

Just knock my head will yaa?

Stand strong

I just dont feel like i have a boyfriend anymore. There's so many things i wanna tell him but when i confronted him, my mind was totally blank. I didnt know what to do.

Coz i know i will never get what i want. I cant have him! i have to accept that. no matter what.

things have changed. things go differently now. i tried to call him, to apologize. but im scared if the same thing will happen all over again. i dont wanna hurt anyone right. as the matter in fact, i dont wanna get hurt by anyone as well. i dont wanna repeat my mistakes again.

i know im not the first person he loves,

but i love him so much till i dont wanna lose him. but this is all bullshit and i just feel like giving up. but i dont want to. nothing can bring me down.

Usually i go for what i want, but this time its not the same anymore.

This is all wrong and i wish i know what to do to make things better.

Now, i feel so empty.

Long distance relationship

This is just so sweettt. I like this video so muchh

Birthday

Had the best birthday celebration this year.

And the best present ever from him. Thank you so much!!!

*saying it in a sarcastic way*

But thanks though to all my girlfriends that made my day on that day eventho i was expecting something else from someone else but didnt turn out well. However, thank you to my cheer teammates and volleyball mates for wishing and yes to all the facebookers, for the wishes. That's all i needed. It's okay, i'm strong enough to accept the fact that he was the only one that wasn't there for me on my own birthday when i needed him the most.

They threw flour all over me during cheer prac :D I had tons of fun with my babes.

Tq so much guys <3

Unlucky

Been so unlucky these days. Bad things happen when we don't expect them to happen.

God, i can be so lunatic at times.

I'm back in 'world of reading'

So called reading aite? Been reading novels lately. Feels weird.

I just can't watch love story a.n.y.m.o.r.e

it makes meeee saddddd. why?? it doesn't feel right anymoreeee!

It reminds me of a lot of things. And i really hate it.

I cant run from my fears

Words are just words. I don't trust people easily. It takes time to trust somebody. Even now i dont really trust anyone except for my family.

Words are just words. You can say it easily but never does anything

Fullstop.

Everything is not going very well.

Everything is falling apart. No more volleyball. No cheerleading in school.

Feeling like shifting school and moving far away from here. I hate it here!

I just need someone to talk to.

Good times

Had an awesome day last Sunday (June 12th) as me and my team Zenith got 3rd place during Grand Final I-Metro. We were speechless and very happy the moment the host announced that we're in 3rd place. Unforgettable day. Unexpected things happen sometimes. Just be confident of yourself. All the practices was paid off and worth it. Even though we only did 1 day practice full routine. We had fun together! Love them very much.

Nervousss

My cheer competition is just 3 days away! arghh so stress right now. Geezz. Hope all my friends can come and support because this comp is really really mean to us. Supporting us on that day will be much much appreciated :) Hope everything is gonna be okay. Pray hard (Y)

Ohh tummyy

Haha ignore the title :p I must say today is pretty bored day for me. Stayed at home the whole day *sigh* and had stomach ache too, ahh sadly yes. Until now my stomach still aching and feel like throwing up. I just don't feel like eating at all unless i throw all the toxic in my stomach out! haha.

I watched The Roommate dvd today. Pisshhh the story is sooo predictable. But better than me not doing anything isn't it? hahh.

Ahh i feel so weak now. What should i dooo and what can i doooo? lalalalaaa..

Expectation

We can't predict what is going to happen in the future. Future always change. We can't plan for future. Maybe can but it won't go as we planned. So plan well. And just wait and see. Or things that we expect to happen don't turn out well. Turn out bad instead. Like REALLY bad. Not all things we can get. Certain things are just meant to be that way. So yes we can't change anything. We just have to accept the fact.

The only way you can live a happy and satisfied life, is that when you start doing things that you that make you happy and satisfied. When we don't get to do those things, we just feel that we are not perfect. Just make an effort to be strong.

I'm trying to avoid negative thoughts in my mind. Sometimes we just say something that hurts people feelings without noticing it. Especially when we are angry. We must somehow find ways to overcome it. It's not healthy and can ruin your relationship with anyone including with your friends.

The most important thing to make relationship work is that respect each other. Both parties need to respect one another in relationship. Many relationship have their ups and downs. So work on it to make the relationship stay healthy. That's what i'm trying to do but ya know it's not that simple. Nothing is easy

Rock & Roll

I'm tired of all this shit. Always argue with him about stupid stuff. Very fed up. Feeling empty now. Tired been very very busy and tight up with my cheer practice and performances for other events too.

Tomorrow i have a performance in PJ Hilton which starts at night. But gotta be there early. And gonna practice super early. Grrr.

Had a performance for teacher's day this morning. My performance with my 3 other friends which is a hip hop dancing went well (i suppose) haha. Glad it's over like finally :)

Feel like watching movie these day but doesn't have the time. Got so many nice movies are in cinema now. Will watch soon.

So damn tired and just wanna go to bed now.

Sweet dreams people. Peace out (Y)

Mid-year exam is very torturing

Add maths was so damn fucking hard, most of the questions i didn't answer. Sad. I didn't study much actually. Been busy with my cheer practice. Got cheer competition coming up next month. Exam will finishing soon really can't wait. And holiday will be in. For 2 weeks.

And i'm dying to watch Fast & Furious 2! Still waiting though :) Gosh tomorrow is Bio whattafarkk im soo gonna fail. Chiaoo

Not a lucky day

Went tournament few days ago. It went well. I guess -.- Sadly, we didn't win. Almost win. Very close to winning but i think it's just not our lucky day that's all. Shall try again next year. But overall it was okay. At least we had fun. Thanks to the supporters who really shouted and cheer like hell that day. You guys are the best :D

Besides that, incident happened too. Example like I fell down and got serious injury haha! What a sad day. Blood was coming out non-stop. Very scary. But I still played though. They needed me haha. It's okay at least we go there for exposure. Here are the pictures. Enjoy and have a nice day :)

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I hope the thing that I expect to happen will happen. But future can always change. We will never know what is going to happen in the future. Just pray hard. That's all we can do.

A bit busy lately with volleyball and stuff. Getting more frustrated and stress out. Trying to cheer myself up everyday. I laugh without reasons certain times. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? Well it doesn't matter as long as I keep the smile on my face.

Tomorrow's friday so I guess it will just be another boring day for me. It will be the best if I don't go to school. Hahaha. And i'll be skipping my tuition for 2 weeks just for the sake of volleyball, yes.

I can say that it is very necessary for me to study at home when i have free times. But my brain won't functionate everytime I feel like studying. How pathetic.

I fall down many times lately and getting more cuts now :( Gosh my legs, cacat eady laa. And I pulled my muscle again :( both my legs are very painful. But I have to overcome it and push myself to play till volleyball finishes. Anything for volleyball weh. I won't stop playing volleyball. I must say, it is the best sports ever besides Cheerleading. And can release stress as well.

Wondering

It's kindda frustrating when we dont know what is other people are thinking in their minds. I just wish i could read their minds :D I just wanna know what is it! Wanna know what's their intention towards us.

When a bad-tempered person meets a bad-tempered person, when they combine, they'll become worst! Problems won't solve. That's what i'm scared of right now. I just need someone who can take care of me. Someone who'll be there for me no matter what. I really want a serious relationship. It's not easy to have that. Both parties need to give commitment.

I'm talking crap now, erhhh k IGNORE IT. Moving on, school was boring today. Got homeworks but never do. I will do this weekend as i think i have the time to do it. Probably not going anywhere. As for tomorrow, me and my mom might be going to buy some stuff.

And am going to dance practice on the afternoon.

These days, lots of my stuff are missing! I mean important stuff are missing! Really important ones. It's just not there when i needed it the most! :S And gonna buy some stationary too at Popular. Really need to shop stationeries cz i lost my pens, scissor, highlighter! arghh. Someone have taken it laa i think. GET A LIFE LA! BUY YOUR OWN STATIONERY! *sigh*

I just want volleyball to finish fast! I need to focus on my study also. And bored of going to training d. HAHA. And i miss my cheer teammates. I hope they're doing well. They're gonna start practicing soon which i won't be around next week the whole week. Have to catch up evrything when i join them.

And yes, one more thing. MY SISTERS ARE ANNOYING. They're just not the best sisters ever haha. Sisters suppose to be our friend. But mine are more like irritating. And BUSYBODYYY. Mind your own business! So what if i go out with boys? I'M NOT A KID ANYMORE. HELLO! GEEZZZ.

And finally i had proper dinner today. I didn't eat anything since yesterday. No kidding. When i say i didnt eat, i mean i didn't have my lunch, dinner yesterday and breakfast this morning. I just eat at school! Mom doesnt cook these days and she and my sisters had dinner outside without me and didnt buy anything for me. Waited dad to come back with food yesterday, feeling like ages!

And i can't even play volleyball today! I was not performing at all. I SUCK TODAY. screw that :/

These past few days, i keep on smiling at school. When i'm thinking of 'it', i smile :) And my friends caught me smiling alone. Day-dreaming to be exact :p It's awesome when you have someone cheer up your day and make you smile evryday and be there for you.

I'm back!

Dila's back weh haha. I know It's been awhile since i last blogged. Dont really have much time for blogging. I miss blogging very much. As much as i miss him. Hahhhaa. School's doing okay. Life's okay too i think. I just noticed that mid-year exam is just another few more weeks awayyyyy. I better get started! Tension la gila. ahah

And now is 3.22pm and here i am blogging on the afternoon. Never done it before. Usually i go online at night time. But pfft wtv. It's just weird to me :)

I gotta go to school and see principle today. Have some problem to be settled down. I hate my school. I mean who doesnt? :p

Btw, i miss cheer so much. And miss my buddies gonna see them starting next week. Yeahhh baby. Rio the movie is coming out soon. Wanna watch laa the birds are so cute. Damn. Okayy i have nothing much to say now but will update more soon.

Feeling like

I feel like i am dying these few days. I feel so lifeless. Have no idea what to do. Usually weekdays i'll be busy, day and night. But when it comes to weekends, i become lifeless. What im trying to tell here is that, my weekends is always been boring *sigh* Dad went to work last night and never come back ever since. Haha. He just got back this afternoon. I mean what kind of work makes the workers stay back for 1 night? -.- Geezz man. Dad had promised us to bring us out to buy some stuff. But he was tired so it was canceled.

I feel so lonely these past few days. I mean i have no one to talk to. Even to my close friend, i did texted her and tell her certain stuff but the feeling of anger still controlling inside of me. I tried to cheer myself up. Somehow, i felt calm at the moment. But then the anger feelings continues.

And school is starting tomorrow. 1 week has passed before i know it. Really fast right?

And finally i managed to wash my school shoes for the first time. HAHA.

Hope

My leg injury getting worst and worst. After days by days, feel like can't play anymore but i push myself to play and go for training cz my team is counting on me too. I cant be selfish. Plus i'm the captain so i have to come. I think i should take a break mybe for a week. No this kind of injury usually take few months to heal. I know because i've been go through it last year. It was suffering. It was really painful but i didn't care i only cared bout the tournament. Do what i love to do. After that only i fully rested.

I feel very lonely these past few days. Have friends but feeling like no friends around. A lot of thing is happening now and it's frustrating. I don't tell anyone at all even to my boyfriend. Usually couples share a lot of things together but me and him i just dont know. Mybe im the one who's emo-ing too much? But i just wanna talk to someone about all this shit. I wanna let it all out. I should go see a therapist. YES I NEED ONE PLEASE -.-

Yes life's tough. Deal with it :) BOOO

I should just forget bout all this shit and just live my damn fucking life hahahha :D It's kindda hard to keep the smile on my face evryday but i'll try my best to do it every seconds.

Few days of holiday has passed. Another few more days to go. Trying to enjoy it evry chance i have. School is just giving more pressure to us *sigh* But school is the only place we can see our friends. Can be either fun or sucks at the same time.

Anyways, do u guys believe in 'FOREVER' word? Is there any such thing forever? I don't believe in it but trying to. but i just cant. What makes me say that is that evrytime a guy or anyone say "we'll be together forever", "you're mine forever" but end up the same thing. Break-ups. It's just sad when they don't use the 'forever' word properly. HAHA. Forever is a big word. Same as 'promise' word. When u promise smthng to someone, u have to fulfill it. But some of them just say it without thinking how big the word is and how mean the word is to the person he/she says to.

You know how important it is to think first before saying it to people. You cant take it back when u already say it to someone. Think before it's too late. It can makes people hopping on you when u say something like that to them. Fulfill the thing what you have said. You don't wanna hurt them. really.

No one

Had to come to school for class decoration :S It was quite fun though. We did all the decoration together. All the hard work paid off XD Our class looks awesome man seriously even though it was only halfway finished haha. However, i went off early :/ When i got home, my whole family wasn't home. I texted my mom asked where they are and apparently they off to Slim River(Perak) where my aunt is having a kenduri there. My dad did asked me to come along with them, he called when i was at school this morning. I kindda said NO to my dad cz i don't wanna go. But he forced me to go and told me to call him back so that he'll fetch me from school. Well actually i didnt call him back cz i just dont wanna follow them. Plus, i wanna help out my classmates decorate class. I didn't expect they are just gonna leave me just like that -.- So yes im alone. Pffttt. Anyways, i watch The Time Traveler's Wife just now but im not really sure what the story is all about. But it's a sad story. The husband died at the end. Sad. I didn't watch from the beginning that's why i dont really understand the story XD

I got bored and webcam-whoring for awhile. Now i think im just gonna play Sims 3. It has been awhile since i last played.

Plenty of movies are coming out. MUST WATCH! especially Battle Los Angeles. And planning to go to karaoke someday. Probably with Syarihan since she asked me to go with her few times d. Since it has been months we didn't hangout together :O Yeah kindda disappointed.

Yippiiii

Exam's out holiday's in babyyyyy!

After 3 days of sufferring :O Finally last paper just finished today XD

I just don't wanna tell how was my life doing during exam, totally miserable.

Past is past let's talk about what's happening next :D

Finally can play volleyball :) Ahhh i miss training. Tmorrow is the dayy muahahhaa xD

As for today, after reached home from school, I followed dad went out for awhile.

Oh yeah he's not working now. He took 3 days off. You know why? He got into a hospital few days ago. 1 night spent time at hospital lucky my mom accompanied him for the night.

However, he got into hospital due to high cholesterol i think -.- or something about asthma. Yes! Asthma! He had to do a conology process if im not mistaken -.- I dont remember what's the name of the process. But the process is to check my dad's heart if there's any blockage in my dad's heart. using a TUBE! yuksss. Luckily, my dad got zero blockage. Thank god. If my dad had a blockage, unfortunately he would have to go through an operation. Lucky no blockage.

So that is why he's at home for the past 3 days geezz -.- HAHA. So yeah. That's the story.

Back to previous story -.- my dad and i went out had lunch and went to get a haircut. Both of us -.- I planned to just trim my hair by shorten it a bit. But the lady misunderstood i suppose and she cut my hair SHORTT. Shorter than what i expected!!! I wanted to said 'not too short' but she already cut my hair i guess it is TOO LATE. I know i should have said it earlier. I mean if I knew lahh she'll cut that short -.- It looks ugly at first but once she was done my hair looks just fine. But shorter than i wanted it to be pfftt. But oh well it's okay. It'll grow back anyway no worries :)

After i got home, i grabbed my mom's laptop and locked myself up in the room and cam-whoring, hahhahaha so gedik xp and used variety of effects XD Here's the results:

Yeah that's my new haircut. Not so bad la aite? Anyways, im out of here. FB time :P

Suckaahhh

My first test is on this Tuesday. And i'm not fully prepared yet! I only study Add Maths most of the time. Maybe it's just because i like maths? Errr. Isshhh. Sejarah haven't read anything also. Guess what, my sej teacher said if we don't get 90% and above for Sejarah, she'll ask us to do A FOLIO. How sucks is that? Ahhh.

While my Physics teacher pulak, she said if we get A for Physics she'll give us Rm10 to each of us if we manage to get an A in this first test which i think it is impossible. HAHA. To me yes maybe but to those smart people NO it is not impossible to get an A for Physics for this first test. But how to score if evrytime during Physics class, evryone like sleeping? SAD.

But oh well. We'll just wait and see.

Btw, i had fun with my volleyball mates and our coach as it's coach's birthday today and we celebrated during training this afternoon. They were throwing cakes and drinks. Yuksss wastage occurs. Haha. Gosshh i love them. Because they are just fun to hangout with.

Anyways, i should start studying, starting from tomorrow since i don't have much time. Been busy so yes. I hope i can catch up all the subjects that will be coming out on exam cz i kinda like fall asleep during chemistry class due to her voice that can put us to sleep XD Eventho if i was listening to her i just couldnt understand a word she says cz she talks very slow as she's talking to herself. No joke -.-

Ahh screw all this. I'll try to do my best la

Life's like shit now.

Yes, i must say after the cheer competition in Subang, a lot of things has happened to me. It has been crazy time for me. My schedule so packed. Since no more cheer, no more cheer practice, i can finally breath properly. HAHA.

My first test is just next week which i haven't prepared a thing. Dont mention it. I'm so gonna fail if i dont study at all. Especially add maths. Im so gonna die :O I can't even focus anymore. I am not in a study mood. Really. I'll tell u why.

This is why, life is just like shit now. Lemme repeat. LIKE SHIT. I know shit happens. I have to understand that. And i'm so fucked up right now. Many things happened between me and my bf. I knew these things are gonna happen one day :'( I should stay single in the first place. I should've think twice before making decisions. This is stupid.

I'm stress out right now. So is he. Maybe we both just stress out and keep on arguing these past few days. FUCK. I hate this. I know his problem is bigger than any of mine but i feel hurt right now. After what he said. I'm not gonna tell u guys what he said. I just keep it to myself. It's better that way.

I just wanna do smthng to clear out my mind. Just one shot. So that i'll feel a bit relieved. As long as it wont affect my studies. I just have to get this out of my mind.

I curse so much these days. I'm becoming more rude to ppl. Arghhh. ??

I can't describe my feelings by words anymore.

Whatever i say, whatever i'm trying to tell him, he'll assume that i'm being sarcastic. I know me with being sarcasm most of the time. But i take it seriously about this stuff. I don't make joke about this stuff. This stuff as in 'our relationship' la. I just don't get it. Yes i don't understand.

I really don't. I really can't see him for right now. Really can't. Enough said.

Could have been better

Last night was well planned to go for cheer practice this morning. But turned out they were having practice at shah alam sec 19. I couldnt come as i have no transport.

So yeah today is pretty much bored day for me. As i was saying in the last post i'll be doing my homeworks, study and stuff today but heck none of them i didn't do. Why? Because i'm not in my best mood to do it, feel like going out instead. But dont know with who. I called sya to save my day but she was tired after taking driving test earlier so i let her rest.

So here i am, keep on and off my laptop while eating chocolate cadbury trying to make myself fatter and wondering what to do besides online. So yeah i got fucked up because of suffering from boredom.

God, I wish i have a guitar.

I shall buy one *saving money right now*

You know what, i'm kindda in love with Grenade acoustic song. To me, acoustic is way better than the original one. Not to say it is way better but it sounds more cool in acoustic. I keep on repeating that song hundreds of time already, i mean for TODAY. yeahhh

As you guys know, tmrrow is 14th of Feb. And it is VALENTINE'S DAY. Is it just me or is it going to be just another fucking boring day? I'm glad for those who are in relationship. I bet a lots of them gonna get flowers from their boyfie. How sweet.

CNY Party

Went to Sze Xian's house, one of my vb's mate for a party. It was chaos but fun. Haha. Some of them were playing piano, and we all sang along. It was like a group of choir HAHA. It was awesome and others were playing cards. Black jack and we played bluff :p and yeah much more. I brought sausage, and french fries there as it was a pot luck party :) We put on fireworks too. I mean them. Haha. It was beautiful. Gosshh :S After 12, most of them left home but as for us, we went to the playground nearby to play firecracker. I recorded it haha. But im so lazy to upload it here. Heeee. All vb peeps were also there except for coach. Sze xian invited him but he couldnt come. It would be more fun if he was there XD Well here are the pictures.

Nafieq playing piano

Us

Me and my vb mates

Fireworks

BOBBY!!

Me and gabriel

ANYWAYSSS, i have started tuition weh! since last thursday night :) Yeah this is my first time i go to tuition since i got into high school. Even PMR i studied on my own. Well i dont think SPM i can redden my brains to answer those questions cz SPM is wayyy harder than PMR.

The maths teacher is very funny wehh haha. It's kindda fun he made us laugh a lot. So yeah i decided to take that tuition. I registered that night itself and already filled up the form but yet havent paid the fees. Haha. I even haven't told my dad bout it yet. Will do soon :p

Arr i wanna go to my dentist appointment. I postponed it for too long edyy. Gotta call them. Noooo i'll ask my dad to do it. Ouhh tmrrow is sunday, since i won't be doing anything, im just gonna do my homeworks. Or study :) Pheww *why am i so rajin here?* Goshh what's happening to dila? XDD

Confusing

I am moodless right now. Suffering from period pain wehhhh :( And my lips hurt so badly. Allergic i think! It was bleeding when i was at school. Errr. And stress thinking of whether to join cheerleading this year or not.

Well actually, my mom doesnt really like me joining cheerleading. She asked me to quit before. Yeahh i know sad right? But still i can join without her knowing :p *evil* Now me myself, do not know how because i'm quite busy with volleyball training as i'm the captain of team so i have to attend.

My cheer teammates is going to a cheer competition end of this month. Effie, my captain wants me to join so badly and i'm still considering it. I can drop vb for 2 weeks for cheer right? but the thing is can we make ourself prepare for the competition in this short time period? CAN WE? It's kindda too late now but why not give it a try right? I'm really confuse now. Pressureeee mannnn

Now, i really have to find a tuition cz i dont want cheer, vb or other stuff affect my studies. My friend did recommend me a tuition. 2 places of tuition actually. And both are in the night time. I mean only 1 of the tuition is in the night time while the other one is otherwise!! so i cant go to that tuition cz the schedule is on the afternoon after school and it is definitely gonna clash with my training times.

Ehh guys guess what i miss doing homeworks. Can u guys believe it? Yeahh really. And guess what again, imma finish all my previous homeworks. And i feel so excited!! Goshh im so random. Okay nite ppl :)

Really had quality times with family at Pulau Tioman this CNY holiday :)

We drive there. Didn't take flight as all the flight were fully booked. It took more than 5 hours to reach Mersing where the ferry departure are located. To get to Tioman Island side laa.

Oh gosh, i hate ferry very much!!!! Dislike ferry from now on :( The waves was billow. I throwed up. Luckily they provided us plastic bag. Damn they were so many ppl throwed up in the ferry -.- Most of us cannot tahan the great waves. Isshh.

We reached there around 3.30pm. We were behind schedule actually and it was quite late when we checked in.

After a long journey to Tioman Island finally we get some rest. It was tiring. That evening we went out to the beach and to the pool. While mom and dad resting in the room we were enjoying swimming haha :p

The next morning, we went snorkeling. We had funnnnn. Ohh fishy fishyyyy :p The sea was so blue yet so deep. The boat took us to 4 places for snorkeling. The coral reef were so beautiful seriously no joking!! We feed the fishes too and it was awesomeeee XD they're so cute and adorableee man, arghh feel like bringing them home but cant :p I took pictures of them though :)

Stopped by at Salang had lunch there eventho it's quite expensive there but the food are not bad also. Continued snorkeling to other places soon after that. After few hours of immersing ourselves in water, we went back to hotel and evryone were lying down like dying eady xp too tired. HAHA.

And as for the last day, we didn't do anything much just enjoying the view and enjoying one last moment at the hotel. Swimming and took pictures at the beach too. Me and my sis even played the slide during swimming :D Even my dad tried it! Twice! Haha. We were so like kiddishh that time :p

There are no much activities to do there because the island is not that big to be explore :D It's just a small island. An island in the middle of the sea. Scary. Don't you think? haha. Wanted to to go around the town but we dont have any transportation. What we did only spent our time at the beach and snorkeling.

We packed our stuffs before checking out. We went to get our complimentary drinks that we got free from the hotel and captured some beautiful pictures of the sea before leaving :(( Soo pretty laa the island :) So blueeeee-ishhh haha xD Ohh i've collected some shells too!!! Aww really nice you know. Loving them! And i'm making them my collection. Awesomeee :p

While waiting for our ferry, we had good times in the guest room :) Guest room is the place where the games are places. What i mean games are, arcade, pool, snooker, video games and etc. Me, dad and sisters got the chance to play pool while waiting cz we waited quite long you know 3 hours i suppose. We had great times tgther ^.^

Overall, it was okay laa not bad. Now i let the pictures do the talking! kays? Do click the pic to view it. Well i dont have to let u know, i bet u guys know how it works right? pfftt haha okay. Till then~

Before taking ferry

Pictures of our hotel that we stayed. Chalet to be exact. Berjaya Resort Tioman.

Walking at the beach with crazy sisters :D

After breakfast

Waiting for the boat

On the boat

This is Salang. The place that we stopped by to get some food

Camwhoring in room

The sea~

The slide was funnnnn

This was after checking out. Look at the shells! Aren't they pretty? I mean gorgeous? I mean super duper cute? haha wtv XDD