Feeling like

I feel like i am dying these few days. I feel so lifeless. Have no idea what to do. Usually weekdays i'll be busy, day and night. But when it comes to weekends, i become lifeless. What im trying to tell here is that, my weekends is always been boring *sigh* Dad went to work last night and never come back ever since. Haha. He just got back this afternoon. I mean what kind of work makes the workers stay back for 1 night? -.- Geezz man. Dad had promised us to bring us out to buy some stuff. But he was tired so it was canceled.

I feel so lonely these past few days. I mean i have no one to talk to. Even to my close friend, i did texted her and tell her certain stuff but the feeling of anger still controlling inside of me. I tried to cheer myself up. Somehow, i felt calm at the moment. But then the anger feelings continues.

And school is starting tomorrow. 1 week has passed before i know it. Really fast right?

And finally i managed to wash my school shoes for the first time. HAHA.

Hope

My leg injury getting worst and worst. After days by days, feel like can't play anymore but i push myself to play and go for training cz my team is counting on me too. I cant be selfish. Plus i'm the captain so i have to come. I think i should take a break mybe for a week. No this kind of injury usually take few months to heal. I know because i've been go through it last year. It was suffering. It was really painful but i didn't care i only cared bout the tournament. Do what i love to do. After that only i fully rested.

I feel very lonely these past few days. Have friends but feeling like no friends around. A lot of thing is happening now and it's frustrating. I don't tell anyone at all even to my boyfriend. Usually couples share a lot of things together but me and him i just dont know. Mybe im the one who's emo-ing too much? But i just wanna talk to someone about all this shit. I wanna let it all out. I should go see a therapist. YES I NEED ONE PLEASE -.-

Yes life's tough. Deal with it :) BOOO

I should just forget bout all this shit and just live my damn fucking life hahahha :D It's kindda hard to keep the smile on my face evryday but i'll try my best to do it every seconds.

Few days of holiday has passed. Another few more days to go. Trying to enjoy it evry chance i have. School is just giving more pressure to us *sigh* But school is the only place we can see our friends. Can be either fun or sucks at the same time.

Anyways, do u guys believe in 'FOREVER' word? Is there any such thing forever? I don't believe in it but trying to. but i just cant. What makes me say that is that evrytime a guy or anyone say "we'll be together forever", "you're mine forever" but end up the same thing. Break-ups. It's just sad when they don't use the 'forever' word properly. HAHA. Forever is a big word. Same as 'promise' word. When u promise smthng to someone, u have to fulfill it. But some of them just say it without thinking how big the word is and how mean the word is to the person he/she says to.

You know how important it is to think first before saying it to people. You cant take it back when u already say it to someone. Think before it's too late. It can makes people hopping on you when u say something like that to them. Fulfill the thing what you have said. You don't wanna hurt them. really.

No one

Had to come to school for class decoration :S It was quite fun though. We did all the decoration together. All the hard work paid off XD Our class looks awesome man seriously even though it was only halfway finished haha. However, i went off early :/ When i got home, my whole family wasn't home. I texted my mom asked where they are and apparently they off to Slim River(Perak) where my aunt is having a kenduri there. My dad did asked me to come along with them, he called when i was at school this morning. I kindda said NO to my dad cz i don't wanna go. But he forced me to go and told me to call him back so that he'll fetch me from school. Well actually i didnt call him back cz i just dont wanna follow them. Plus, i wanna help out my classmates decorate class. I didn't expect they are just gonna leave me just like that -.- So yes im alone. Pffttt. Anyways, i watch The Time Traveler's Wife just now but im not really sure what the story is all about. But it's a sad story. The husband died at the end. Sad. I didn't watch from the beginning that's why i dont really understand the story XD

I got bored and webcam-whoring for awhile. Now i think im just gonna play Sims 3. It has been awhile since i last played.

Plenty of movies are coming out. MUST WATCH! especially Battle Los Angeles. And planning to go to karaoke someday. Probably with Syarihan since she asked me to go with her few times d. Since it has been months we didn't hangout together :O Yeah kindda disappointed.

Yippiiii

Exam's out holiday's in babyyyyy!

After 3 days of sufferring :O Finally last paper just finished today XD

I just don't wanna tell how was my life doing during exam, totally miserable.

Past is past let's talk about what's happening next :D

Finally can play volleyball :) Ahhh i miss training. Tmorrow is the dayy muahahhaa xD

As for today, after reached home from school, I followed dad went out for awhile.

Oh yeah he's not working now. He took 3 days off. You know why? He got into a hospital few days ago. 1 night spent time at hospital lucky my mom accompanied him for the night.

However, he got into hospital due to high cholesterol i think -.- or something about asthma. Yes! Asthma! He had to do a conology process if im not mistaken -.- I dont remember what's the name of the process. But the process is to check my dad's heart if there's any blockage in my dad's heart. using a TUBE! yuksss. Luckily, my dad got zero blockage. Thank god. If my dad had a blockage, unfortunately he would have to go through an operation. Lucky no blockage.

So that is why he's at home for the past 3 days geezz -.- HAHA. So yeah. That's the story.

Back to previous story -.- my dad and i went out had lunch and went to get a haircut. Both of us -.- I planned to just trim my hair by shorten it a bit. But the lady misunderstood i suppose and she cut my hair SHORTT. Shorter than what i expected!!! I wanted to said 'not too short' but she already cut my hair i guess it is TOO LATE. I know i should have said it earlier. I mean if I knew lahh she'll cut that short -.- It looks ugly at first but once she was done my hair looks just fine. But shorter than i wanted it to be pfftt. But oh well it's okay. It'll grow back anyway no worries :)

After i got home, i grabbed my mom's laptop and locked myself up in the room and cam-whoring, hahhahaha so gedik xp and used variety of effects XD Here's the results:

Yeah that's my new haircut. Not so bad la aite? Anyways, im out of here. FB time :P

Suckaahhh

My first test is on this Tuesday. And i'm not fully prepared yet! I only study Add Maths most of the time. Maybe it's just because i like maths? Errr. Isshhh. Sejarah haven't read anything also. Guess what, my sej teacher said if we don't get 90% and above for Sejarah, she'll ask us to do A FOLIO. How sucks is that? Ahhh.

While my Physics teacher pulak, she said if we get A for Physics she'll give us Rm10 to each of us if we manage to get an A in this first test which i think it is impossible. HAHA. To me yes maybe but to those smart people NO it is not impossible to get an A for Physics for this first test. But how to score if evrytime during Physics class, evryone like sleeping? SAD.

But oh well. We'll just wait and see.

Btw, i had fun with my volleyball mates and our coach as it's coach's birthday today and we celebrated during training this afternoon. They were throwing cakes and drinks. Yuksss wastage occurs. Haha. Gosshh i love them. Because they are just fun to hangout with.

Anyways, i should start studying, starting from tomorrow since i don't have much time. Been busy so yes. I hope i can catch up all the subjects that will be coming out on exam cz i kinda like fall asleep during chemistry class due to her voice that can put us to sleep XD Eventho if i was listening to her i just couldnt understand a word she says cz she talks very slow as she's talking to herself. No joke -.-

Ahh screw all this. I'll try to do my best la

Life's like shit now.

Yes, i must say after the cheer competition in Subang, a lot of things has happened to me. It has been crazy time for me. My schedule so packed. Since no more cheer, no more cheer practice, i can finally breath properly. HAHA.

My first test is just next week which i haven't prepared a thing. Dont mention it. I'm so gonna fail if i dont study at all. Especially add maths. Im so gonna die :O I can't even focus anymore. I am not in a study mood. Really. I'll tell u why.

This is why, life is just like shit now. Lemme repeat. LIKE SHIT. I know shit happens. I have to understand that. And i'm so fucked up right now. Many things happened between me and my bf. I knew these things are gonna happen one day :'( I should stay single in the first place. I should've think twice before making decisions. This is stupid.

I'm stress out right now. So is he. Maybe we both just stress out and keep on arguing these past few days. FUCK. I hate this. I know his problem is bigger than any of mine but i feel hurt right now. After what he said. I'm not gonna tell u guys what he said. I just keep it to myself. It's better that way.

I just wanna do smthng to clear out my mind. Just one shot. So that i'll feel a bit relieved. As long as it wont affect my studies. I just have to get this out of my mind.

I curse so much these days. I'm becoming more rude to ppl. Arghhh. ??

I can't describe my feelings by words anymore.

Whatever i say, whatever i'm trying to tell him, he'll assume that i'm being sarcastic. I know me with being sarcasm most of the time. But i take it seriously about this stuff. I don't make joke about this stuff. This stuff as in 'our relationship' la. I just don't get it. Yes i don't understand.

I really don't. I really can't see him for right now. Really can't. Enough said.